Stay true to yourself

"That sounds just fantastic.
Looking forward to hear about your adventures from the north.
I look in on your side now and then. Dreaming me back.

The last few days have been tumultuous, surreal and full of contrasts.

The past few days I’ve passed and found myself in densely populated cities.
Observed people and how they are governed by time, must haves and plentitudes.
I have seen landscapes depicted along the highway.
I have fled behind the steering wheel and driven deeper into the Swedish forests.
I have walked at the gravel trails and found new places.
I have dipped my feet in the dark lakes.
Pondered the silence.

I have been screaming out from high altitudes.
I have run into old friends, despite the fact that I barely had the words.
I have hugged them hard, seen deep into their eyes but could not tell a coherent sentence.
Been pleased to see people while it has scared me.
Been angry at myself for the words that’s been coming out
of my mouth when they haven’t sound fair with what I experienced.
Been apathetic and turned into myself.

Tried to think clearly, but found myself sitting in the shower crying.
Took myself in the collar and chased employers.
Visited a cultural center as well as a friend in hospital.
Looked at art as the sunrise in the countryside.
Felt the wind in my hair in a car without a roof.
Loved the Swedish countryside as well as beaches.
Had the art of making something big out of nothing in particular.
Laughed at the fact that I somewhere before or in between just knew that it would be like this.
Like a roller coaster ride.

Sorry if I’m sounding small depressed when I’m writing,
but although I can’t write something that aren’t truth at the moment, just because.
That wouldn’t be right. And in all of this, I can tell that I know that you
know and that you understand.

It is a process and I do not know how, but like so many times before,
I just have to keep on hunting the light.
I have to make it. I know I will make it! I’ll make it.

Thinking of you from time to time. Hope you’re doing fine.
Say hello to the third world from me and tell that I will be back.
I'll just start up a life in Sweden first. xx.
Exited to hear more from you.
Until then, catch you on the flipside,  ."